Chapter 3

Jared knew that things were starting to get out of control. He was thinking this as he led Dusty, the ass and Miffy’s llama toward the trailer to be taken to the stables. It wasn’t really his fault, he reasoned as he walked alone.

Alone.

Dammit. It seemed he was always alone lately, even when he was surrounded by people. “Surrounded by idiots and asshats,” he thought to himself as he opened the door to the truck Donna knew nothing about.

It was bad enough that he agreed to that first trip when they had all come to his house. Fuck, he was getting text messages and calls on their cell phones from people he had never heard of, much less met, wanting to congratulate him and thank him for being “braver than I would be…”

That thought had stuck with Jared that weekend and had nagged at him in the two years since. Braver? How could he be braver if he went along with everything his wife told him to do? These cyber knuckleheads didn’t know anything.

Shit, it was almost six months before the guys at the tire distribution center where he worked third shift had stopped talking about that damn British flag those women had hung in front of his house while Miffy visited.

“Holy shit, Jared, you just let your house get invaded?”

“Damn, Jared. If that was my wife, no freaking way I am letting her have people we know anything about stay with us. That Mexican coulda been an axe murderer or something, like that Lizzie Borden.”

“Shee-it, Jared.” Ike always said that cuss word like two words. “Who IS your daddy?”

No, those words and others burned inside Jared like Pace Picante on Tostitos. So when the idea for this fucking ride came up, it was the last straw. Donna hadn’t been willing to leave this freaking valley for two years to go anywhere with him, but when these Amigas asked, she was all on board. Screw that. But Jared knew that it also presented him with his first real opportunity. Opportunity to make some changes. To make some money. And to make some tracks.

Many people from where they lived had never been further than Virginia Beach. They were satisfied to live a life close to home and things that had been valued through generations. Jared had always assumed that was how his life would go, too. But Donna had a streak in her that wasn’t satisfied with the status quo. She had pushed him to experience many different things before her phobia about the mountains took control. He knew the third shift job he worked wasn’t going to be able to produce enough money to satisfy her wanderlust if she ever got better. He, too, had developed a hunger to go beyond his life’s self-imposed borders and see new things. He watched the TV talk shows in the mornings after work. Those people on Jerry Springer and Judge Judy were living, even if they were sorta nuts. So when Donna asked him if he knew anyone with some burros they could rent for the trip, Jared went to work.

The second call he made after the Amigas decided on the timing of the trip was to Carhartt. (The first call had been to that son-of-a-bitch supervisor at the plant, telling him when he would be able to relocate that forklift key into a more secure storage place than the clip that hung from his belt – “shove it up you’re ass” were his exact words.) Jared had always wanted a Carhartt work jacket and now that they were signing up to be the Official Outdoor Outfitters of the 3 Amigas and support crew for the trip, he would get several. In fact, Ike had seen him in the first garment that arrived and been impressed.

“Shee-it, Jared. That is a helluva hunting vest. What did Donna do to get that for you?”

He wasn’t implying what it sounded like, but to Jared it still stung. Ike knew as well as Jared that ordinarily he would never have been able to spring for the $65 vest without a struggle with Donna.

The boys at the DC knew it, too, because of the numerous times he had complained about their fights. No, Ike wasn’t being mean. He was being honest. But it felt great to Jared to be able to answer him, as he finished the second cold beer at the bar where they all usually went after work. Of course, Jared had been there waiting for them at 8 that morning, since he no longer went to work. The boys were running a bit behind, according to his calculations, but that wasn’t unusual. Probably a big order from Wal-Mart had held them up and extended their night.

“Ike,” he started, “this vest is the beginning of the best time of my life. I have telling you guys I am getting out of this tired valley and now I am.”

Of course, he didn’t tell them he was doing it on his wife’s back as she rode out on a burro.

“Fuck ‘em. They can find out that part on their own,” Jared thought. “I’m getting far away from here,” he muttered to himself as he climbed into his shitty twenty two year old Ford pickup with 203,465 miles showing on the odometer. He had no clue how true those words would turn out to be.

In quick succession, Jared had arranged with Carhartt, Ford, Featherlite Trailers, Justin Boots, Wrangler Jeans and Wal-Mart to be supporting sponsors. This insured their clothes, support vehicle transportation and food would be covered. Secondary calls to Quality Inn, AT&T and Denny’s secured lodging, communication services and restaurants for dining. Dell came on as the “hi-tech” supplier of Jared’s laptop and MP3 player. There was also a Dell plasma screen TV waiting for him at the house when they got back. A friend of his that worked for Geico Insurance had arranged insurance coverage, provided certain steps were taken to publicize their involvement. They felt the gecko was getting tired. Jared had switched the family’s banking account to Capital One a month before the trip, telling Donna that the local Bank & Trust was failing to deliver the latest services to their community. Coca-Cola was their soft drink provider, Miller High Life was the beer he reached for at the end of the day and Goodies Headache Powder was the relief he needed every morning. Home Depot was their tool provider and Preparation H was the…. Well, you know what that was for. Ten hours a day on a burro can do that to a woman.

Donna knew none of this. She imagined that in his “supportive husband” role which he had always played, Jared was simply plunging them deeper into credit card debt. In the past she had willingly gone along with it. But now she couldn’t see how it was going to end for them in anything but bankruptcy. She couldn’t tell Miffy or Jenn about this, though. She NEEDED this trip. But it was on her mind as she spent those long hours on her ass. Jared had been pretending to go to work each day in the weeks since he quit, leaving at the normal time, arriving home in the morning just as he had been working that third shift job he had held since she met him. But now he was coming home with lots of new stuff he said they needed for her trip.

At least, she didn’t know it yet. As she, Jenn and Miffy dined on calzones inside Antonios, events were taking place that would challenge what any of them knew for sure about life, truth and trust.